


And just like them old stars

by Midgetphan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Tinder video that is no longer there but remmains iconic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 10:04:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16616882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midgetphan/pseuds/Midgetphan
Summary: Tinder can be a fun way to find new friends, wholesome people or unwated dick pics. And share it all with your boyfriend.





	And just like them old stars

His stomach starts hurting from laughing so much. A little moisture accumulating on his eyes that he swiftly wipes off to clear the sight of Dan in front of him. His pleased smile concealing something deeper than the joke he had made.

“I swear that’s what she replied to me!” Dan yells high pitched and excited, showing him his cellphone with the texts he had just read out loud. “I am going to start puking rainbows right now Phil.”

“But the guy… the one from before, he just…” Phil can almost not finish his sentence when his lungs demand him to inhale, but it is finished for him anyway.

“He fucking sent me a dick pick, like, I was recording and now I will have to edit that whole part out.” The phone is shoved back to Phil’s face with a picture of a cock on it. “Literally the ugliest dick I have ever seen, Jesus Christ was he flaccid or does it naturally look like a toe?”

“Delete it. It isn’t as bad as the one, remember?”

“The burnt croissant!” they both say at the same time, erupting in more laughter than before. Both clutching their stomachs afterwards, leaning on their respective chairs. The one that belonged there and the other Phil had dragged to sit next to Dan while he edited the video he wanted to upload that day.

A few minutes passed, cheeks hurting from being stretched for so long, stomach muscles screaming of pain from being contracted.

The video had been Dan’s idea. The direction of it at least. His pictures, Phil recalls, taken the day before along a sketch in order to both maximize time and tease a side of their workplace they both loathed. All in all it was going to be a good video for his channel, funny and catching enough to get them good earnings in return.

“It’s going to be a good video.” He says out loud gazing the ceiling. Tall and white and no splits visible. Already theirs even with unexplored corners and unseen failures. They had filled it with memories little by little during the past months and the walls weren’t as empty and foreign anymore.

“We are sell outs Phil.”

“They’ll forgive us. They know it’s for a future.” He shrugs, having read the commentaries on his own sponsored video but even without that, certain enough from the mutual trust shared with the people off screen.

“Yeah. The forever home is worth me creating an account on Tinder.” There is a hint of sarcasm in his tone that hasn’t gone away since the contract was signed, nor explored yet. But Phil knows better than pushing the issue, he knows Dan is going to share when his mind finds the words. Phil only has to wait and stay close.

“You can close it now. Or keep in touch with Mr. ToeDickson, see if he lives nearby.” Phil chuckles at his own joke but hears nothing in return. He looks back at Dan staring at him with a soft, almost invisible smile, not quite reaching his eyes.

“I didn’t tell them after… not really. Like before deleting the app I told David that no thanks, this was for a video and my boyfriend wouldn’t like us to go on a date and he laughed. Maybe I should have skipped the video part but I doubt he watches that part of youtube anyway.”

Phil stays silent for a moment, amused really from the blabbering and how not even a hint of jealousy peaks in him. Even with the pictures he chose, who wouldn’t have been interested in Dan Howell, is a wonder for him.

“It’s alright. David can even come here to eat if you want; he seems like a nice guy to be friends with.”

Dan nods, his smile deeper. “I mean. It is okay, isn’t it? Are you…  _we_  okay? Because they are going to talk and rewind and _listen_  and they won’t hear a declaration.” He looks up at Phil “or a denial.”

“Oh.” Phil leans back on his seat again.

They had been doing that for a while now. Not confirming, not denying. Not hiding the truth but not exposing it either. And this video was going to be a confirmation of one part but not the whole.

He thinks of before, of years back when fear had iced them both in different ways and how this video could have been different back then. Still could. “It would be easier. If you want. Add a bit more of drama to your story.” And Phil knows the answer already because sometimes, he rejoices to believe, they do share a mind connection beyond any normal friendship. But it still feels good when a warm, golden hand reaches for his own. He takes it immediately.

“No.” Dan’s tone is certain, his big, so beautiful eyes firm on his own.

_Not again. Never again._  Phil can almost hear him saying. Not needing to because the promise had been done in their own way back when it had hurt so bad them both had collided in pieces.

Because denying something isn’t the same as hiding it. A lesson they learned together.

Denying means hurting and failing. Keeping appearances to extremes that cut so deeply, no intimacy could heal. It evokes shame and fear in ways Phil hates to remember. Lies that twists trust for a large amount of time.

Hiding it means not denying but keeping private what should have always be between them two. Concealed from eyes that want to scratch and find minimum imperfections and enhance them. Wounds from their past that still sting if touched.

Not everyone, they know. But still enough. A price for having an influence in such amount of diverse people. People they are proud of, but still afraid to a degree yet respect even more than to blatantly lie.

He takes Dan’s hand to his lips, kissing it in three different places. “They’ll know. They already know. And they are going to be proud of you and they are going to keep your walrus selfie as their icons for years.” Dan is pulling his hand back to him by then but Phil’s grip harder “I, personally want to print and frame it on the lounge. No wonder Mr. ToeDickson had a hard time getting it up.”

“That’s it. Get the fuck out and let me edit the rest of the video.” Dan pushes him then, making his chair almost trip with one of the terrariums and turns his attention back to the screen.

Phil stands up, stretches his arms above his head. “Let them know there won’t be a liveshow today.”

“I knoooow.”

There is the idea of saying he would have swiped right anyway, but it’s too cheesy to say out loud. He kisses Dan’s head, mutters an  _I love my walrus_  instead and promises Chinese for dinner instead. Leaves with Dan’s dimple visible on the reflection of the screen.


End file.
